My Dear Stephen, today marks another month of you being gone from us here. I must say that I do miss you very much, with my whole heart, and you best believe it. There isn’t a moment you don’t run across my mind… I swear I saw your twin a few days ago, he looked just like you, walked right past me, when I turned around to see who it was, I couldn’t even find the guy in the crowd of people I was in. It was amazing, and it made me realize how much I truly do miss you. I hope you’re one hundred and ten percent happy with your choice, because we’re all coping down here about it, you’ve made us all a lot stronger, baby, and as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I can’t believe a whole year is approaching soon… just a few more months, it doesn’t even feel like it, at all. It feels like you were here just yesterday, everything was perfect, everyone was fine, you never went away from all of us…. But I know that isn’t reality, as much as we’d all want it to be. I just hope all is well up there in heaven, stay beautiful for me, and I’ll stay your little mermaid forever. Watch over me, us, everyone, we all love you. You’ll always have that special place in my heart, I’m forever missing you <3 Rest in peace Stephen Andrew.

http://mayrecatherine.tumblr.com/post/494975604/my-dear-stephen-today-marks-another-month-of-you
Looks better on Tumblr.

LiveJournal, it’s been so long. How are you doing? I haven’t updated this thing in forever, it’s completely slipped my mind. I’ll never delete it though, all my entries about Stephen are saved on here, and I might as well just keep using this for the fourth of every month when I need to write about him. Tumblr has consumed my life, I even have an application on my BlackBerry for Tumblr. So those of you that still use this old website, follow me on Tumblr instead. http://mayrecatherine.tumblr.com

And Stephen Andrew, my dear… I miss you with my whole heart. You never seem to escape my mind, thank you… I know you’re keeping close watch over me. I love you so much, and cannot wait to see you again some day. Forever your little mermaid <3Mayre.

 EVER.

You're exactly what your Mom says.
A worthless piece of shit.
& You're rude on top of that.

i use my tumblr more.
http://mayrecatherne.tumblr.com 



rip stephen<3

I can’t even look at you without getting butterflies, you make my head spin, and heart melt. I can’t imagine how obvious it is that with every word you say to me I just fall more for you. You have this way about you that I just can’t resist. I miss every little thing that has to do with you, or us. I told myself to never get this tangled up in someone, but I obviously don’t care. Just like I don’t care what anyone has to say. We’re going to hang out, we’re going to have that day all to ourselves, and we’re going to see where things go. I was more than happy last night when I asked you what you wanted to talk about and you said you wanted to talk about what we both want to come out of us. We both have things to work on, and I need to gain your trust back. I’m glad you hope everything turns out good with us, and I’m more than happy that what I said to you made you smile. Everything I tell you is the 100% truth, and it comes straight from my heart. You’re the only person I would ever be able to even say “It’s hard to explain. I’m crazy about you, and you know that. You have the most perfect way of making me feel like the specialist girl in the world to get your attention. And ‘cause my heart pretty much sits in your hands. You just mean a lot to me, and you have ever since we dated the first time. My life defiantly wouldn’t be the same without you sweetie.” No one else would ever hear those words come from me, except you. No one else deserves to hear them, ‘cause no one could ever possibly make me feel the way you do. I might have lied to everyone before, and even to myself, and told myself that I don’t need you, but even you know that was a lie, you know you’re one of the main sources of my happiness. I’m so happy you’re in my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m not an easy girl to please, but it’s nothing that you even have to try to do, just having you in my life is equal to having the whole world to me. I’m so glad that I got to see you today, even if it was for just like five minutes, but I got a nice big hug, up in your arms, and that really made my day. You might not love me, but at least there is something about me that has you sticking around for so long to try to make things right with me. I’m so thankful for that, because it means a lot, I hope we’ll some day be able to go back to being together, and where I get to be your little girl, and you get to be all mine. I love you so much sweetheart, really, I love you from the bottom of my heart. & I can’t wait until the day I get to have your lips on mine and hands all over me again.

Love,
Mayre.

& Stephen, rest in peace, sorry I haven't updated this much. I miss you and love you so much. I always thought I'd never love anyone as much as I loved you, but I think I really do love Anthony with my everything, except for the part of my heart that only belongs to you. Keep me safe up there baby, and don't let me get hurt again. Watch out for me, because you know if it would be me up there and you down there I'd do the same thing for you. Stay beautiful, my angel.

 TylerVee's Mom (she's a nurse) diagnosed me with ringworm... ew. I have a little red circle on my shin on my left leg. It is itchy as can be, so now I have to put antibiotics on it and bandaids. Right now I have a panda bandaid from Littlest Pet Shop < cute? Yeah. I have to be careful that it doesn't spread, or I'll be in deep shit man! Does Owl City get on anyone else's nerves? He's so annoying I want to kill him, his songs make NO sense at all. Oh, Colleen and I talked and stuff and we are friendly now. She wants to hang out, me her and Brook. Mom says I need to wash my sheets.... tomorrow... tomorrow... tomorrow.... I am a great procrostinator! < Spelt that wrong.... oh well, lol. I turned in my Autobiographia in Spanish 3 today. It was actually really good, and NO I DIDN'T USE A TRANSLATOR! Woohoo. Hopefully I'll get an A... I deserve one. I put a lot more work into it than most people. I need to hop off of here, it's dinner time.

Have a great evening everyone.
& Don't touch my legs!
Hahaha.

Love,
Mayre<333

Rest In Peace Stephen, I love & miss you<333

I can't believe what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your James Dean glossy eyes
In your tight jeans with your long hair
And your cigarette stained lies

Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

And I’ll never love again,
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

I can’t believe how you slurred at me
With your half wired broken jaw
You popped my heart seams
On my bubble dreams, bubble dreams

I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He’s gonna get you and after he’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

And I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless

Howw?
Howww?
Howww?

Howww?
Howww?
Howww?

And after all the drinks and bars that we’ve been to
Would you give it all up?
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and girls that we’ve been through
Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up?

If I promise boy to you

That I’ll never talk again
And I’ll never love again
I’ll never write a song
Won’t even sing along

I’ll never love again

Howwww?
So speechless
You left me speechless, so speechless
Why you so speechless, so speechless?

Will you ever talk again?
Oh boy, why you so speechless?
You’ve left me speechless

Some men may follow me
But you choose “death and company”
Why you so speechless? Oh oh

 I stay forgetting to update this damn thing. Everyone is pushing for me to get a tumblr. I have one, I just don't use it. I made it back in spring & just never did anything. I like LiveJournal<33 So anyways, last night would have been my perfect chance to go see Toby, but of course Noor didn't tell me to go until I had no ride! Retard. Hah, I still love her though. I think me and Caylin are going to hang out tonight or something, we'll see. Alyssa G needs to stop being such a sensitive little bitch. I'm not talking about you, we're friends and you know I love you. I didn't post the thing in my formspring with the girls name that I had said my tweet about. You thought that I was talking about the one where someone said something about you, and that wasn't it. So stop. I'm not rude, and you know that. I can't stand your attitude, honestly. But whatever. I'm in a happy mood. My Mommy accused me of smoking today, and I bitched her out, she deserved it. So she left the house, slammed the door and didn't lock it. What the fuck you want me kidnapped or some shit? Whatever. I need to go get dressed. I've been in little boys undies & a cami all day..... lazy as shit. So yup, hopping off here.

I love you,
<3Mayre

rest in peace stephen, i miss you baby.

Well, I didn’t get the change to update yesterday. Yesterday was Stephen’s 7 months, for some reason it didn’t hit me as hard as the last few. I think I’ve gotten a lot stronger, and I think that is a really good thing. I still miss him a lot, and love him, but I’m finally catching grip with that I cannot change what happened. And as much as I don’t want to think he is gone, I know he is. Other than that, I’ve been in a great mood. Talking to Toby a lot lately, he knows how to put a smile on my face, lol. Computer Apps was so fun today! It was Angela, Ashley, Summer, Derek, Kyle, and Kevin with me in the back. Derek’s imaginary friend Jimmy was there (it’s a joke) and Summer stepped on him (cause he’s a midget) and then we stabbed him. Derek got so mad! So we’re having a funeral for him tomorrow, and we have to dress accordingly. Which is fine, ‘cause I had already chose to wear black tomorrow ‘cause it’s really cute on, lol. I’m home alone, sucks soo bad. I guess Anthony deleted me off Twitter? Lol. I haven’t talked to him since last week? But whatever. I wish someone would stop with all the drama, I want a drama free life. I don’t tell my friends to write in your little formspring. I don’t care about you, and you don’t care about me so we should just get on with our lives and act like neither one of us exists ‘cause I already do that for you. Quit coming to me with more drama, if I’m nothing then don’t say you want to fight me, or do this, or tell me to fuck off. Just ignore what anyone has to say. That’s what I do and it works fine. You don’t see me trying to stir things up. Whatever. I really have to pee so I’m cutting this short.



I love you,

<3Mayre



Rest in peace Stephen, I miss & love you<33

Welp, let's start this bitch off, aye?

I spent most of today finishing up my AP Government homework, laying in bed, and talking to Toby. Speaking of Toby, everyone on fucking FormSpring.Me keeps pushing us to date, it's kind of cute. He says that we're hot together and that maybe our fans are right. We'll see, I want to see him soon. He totally wants to chill too... too bad he just had to go with Danny tonight, ha. Anyways, Anthony's dating CC? That's cool. Brook and I settled things last night, talked about pretty much everything, and now we're chill. I'm pretty happy about that, I had no hard feelings really. I cannot believe that school starts back up on Monday, it feels like this break should just keep going on, but of course, it wont! MORE SNOW, PLEASE. hah, Sike! Noor and I had the best talk last night, about how it is 2010 now, and I'm dropping my biggest mistake from 2008-2009. All you'll be is a memory of a time you made me happy, nothing more. Just a small part of my past, as much as I love you, it's the best thing for me to look at in that way. It's time to move on, it's time to be happy, and it's time for you to realize that as much as I'd love to always be here, I won't be. One day I'll have enough courage to let it all go, when? I don't know, but it will happen, let me tell you. I was going to give you the other half of my necklace for Christmas, but the way I see it is, it isn't worth it now. I might as well give it to someone like Noor or Shelby Cooper, or Lexie Harpold, KneeCole Baker, or Tyler Volman. They should get the key to my heart, because they don't fuck around with it like you. 

I still have yet to take down me 2009 Africa calender off of my wall, I really want that Where The Wild Things Are calender, so I need to run to Borders real soon to get one! If you haven't heard what I said about Rihanna, the singer, which had all of us laughing... here it was. "Obviously you aren't that fucking hard as you say you are in your song because your boyfriend beat the shit out of you. And Chris Brown is not a big boy. But you're so hard you're going to kill them bitches, right?" We were all laughing so hard, haha. Did I say that this year I'm going to have such a positive outlook on life that it is crazy? Well, I am. No I'm not changing my appearance like some people are because they want to create a new them... I'm just changing my outlook more, making myself seem that the world will be a happy place, and that we should all be happy. I think everyone needs to start thinking like that, honestly. I missed the last fucking Jersey Shore episode that was on! God damn it, someone tell me about it before I have to go hunt down a recap. Hahaha. 

I feel like I need to bounce off of this. Sooooo.
<3Mayre

Stephen Andrew, I love and miss you so much. Stay beautiful, darlin'.